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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Here's a Tip for You


Here's a Tip for You!

During these tough economic times, my wife Angelica and I don’t dine out as often as she would like.  When we do hit our favorite restaurants, there is a question she always asks after we’ve paid the bill.  "How much did you leave for a tip?"

I like to keep it simple when leaving a gratuity.  I’ve always tipped 20% for great service, 15% for good service, and 10% for bad service.  What the hell, I really leave a tip for bad service?  Lately, I find myself asking some rather serious questions about what is truly an appropriate amount to tip a server, especially a bad server.
  
I’m not quite sure about the origin of my personal tip percentages, but my psychotherapist believes I more than likely assimilated it in the late 1970’s, while I was a line cook in Massachusetts.  No doubt, it was probably imbedded somewhere, during a loud rant of obscenities by a service staff member, who was venting after receiving a bad tip.   In those days, staff tirades usually occurred as close to the dining room service doors as possible.  This was done so the guest in question could hear what they should have left for a tip.  At the same time, their tires were probably being deflated in the parking lot.  Of course, I had nothing to do with it.

Webster’s Dictionary gives the following definitions for tip/gratuity.
  1. A gift or a sum of money tendered for a service performed or anticipated.
  2. Something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service.
  3. CASH that is demanded for sub-par service by a manipulative, aggressive restaurant server
Okay, so I made up that last one, but I think the majority of people really feel that way.  Don't leave a good tip and face the possibiltiy public humiliation or even server retaliation.

The  fact is, as restaurants raise their prices, gratuities are increasing too.  Is the level of servicing getting better as restaurants try to control rising food, labor and overhead costs?  If anything, service standards appear to be on the decline, while servers are making more now than ever.

When bad tips are received, could be a reality show on FOX(when servers attack might work better.)  I’ve seen it all during my hospitality career and can’t help wonder, was it the dollar amount or the tip percentage that prompted some of the following behavior?
  1. A server confronting guests at the front door, asking whether they had done something wrong to get a 12% tip.
  2. A server chased a party of four into the parking lot, throwing change at their car, while yelling “Keep it; you need it more than I do!” 
  3. Catching several servers changing tips on credit card receipts. 
In 1972, George Foster, Professor Emeritus of Anthropology at UC Berkeley, theorized that tipping started with a desire to avoid envy on the part of the server, and to send the message that the server should have a drink at the customer's expense. 

Tipping is not about percentages, rather a voluntary gift, but don’t try to tell that to the service industry.  They have created their own set of rules, and patrons are no longer given a choice.  That’s right, I said it!  Restaurants now print menus that say 15%, 18%, and even 20% gratuity will automatically be added to your check, regardless of the service you receive.  10% gratuity will be added to all take-out orders, even though an employee will not be serving you.  You will also be charged a higher gratuity for parties of six, eight and ten.  Be careful of the servers who don’t warn you the gratuity has already been added to your bill, and saying nothing when they are generously double-tipped!  Some restaurants even allow Point of Sale devices to calculate the tip with state sales tax included.  Now, we’re tipping on the tax too?

Servers are already getting paid by the hour, so why leave a tip at all?  The root of the problem begins with server base pay.  The minimum hourly tipped employee wage is mandated by the state.  However, federal law does supersede state wage law, unless the state wage is more favorable.  Are you’re not confused yet, read this. http://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1032&context=econfacpub&sei-redir=1#search=%22server%20wages%20by%20state%22 

Depending on the state you reside, tipped employees are paid between $2.13 and $8.67 per hour. http://www.dol.gov/whd/state/tipped.htm  In my state of Florida, servers are paid $4.29 per hour, which is only $3.02 less than the states’ minimum wage for non-tipped employees.  This means, that if a server makes $12 in tips per hour, they are making $16.29 per hour.  That a pretty decent wage, isn’t it?

But, it’s not that simple.  Restaurant owners can classify lots of employees as ‘tipped’.  Servers must also tip-out assistant servers, bus people, bartenders, dessert person, and other tipped employees who service them.  The 20% added gratuity you’re paying, is being used to subsidize the staff a restaurant owner wants to pay less.  It’s a conspiracy that John Grisham would be proud of.  Servers need to pressure owners to pay them more money, and not hold restaurant customers hostage for their wages.

The time has come to offer a solution to the out of control tipping policies.  My conclusions will probably anger most servers, but in my opinion the system needs to be changed.  Who’s with me?  Sell your restaurant calculators while they’re still worth selling.  I offer the following to my readers.
A.       Restaurant owners pay minimum wage to all tipped and non tipped employees.
B.       Patrons pay a flat rate of $6 per person.
C.       Patrons can leave more than $6 if they feel inclined to do so.
D.       Patrons can leave nothing if they are not served appropriately.
Imagine a world where servers at IHOP and Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse could be making the same in tips! I have a dream, I have a dream.

Have a great night out, and when you leave a $12 tip for you and your wife, tell ‘em Brian told you to do it!
Brian Silveira is a restaurateur and food lover from Fort Myers, Florida.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Name Game

The Name Game

Not that name game.  Although, if you started singing Lincoln-Lincoln-Bo-Binkin, Bo-Banana-Fana-Fo-Finkin, I really wouldn’t blame you.  Shirley Ellis’ Name Game also known as the Banana song did reach #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1964.  Don't click on Shirley's picture to the left with children in the room, you'll be sorry.

I’m talking about the name game that has been plaguing the restaurant industry for years.
Back in the 1990’s I was a manager at a resort island restaurant in Sanibel Florida. I noticed a trend had started among our celebrity guests when they called to make reservations.  They were not using their real names.  To put it simply, they were using names like, well, my last name.  They had money, fame, and now they were looking to use average household names when making reservations?

After years of working in the business, and hundreds of hours of study, I mastered the rules of reservations.  A Guest calls in and is asked for a reservation time and their name.  Had I missed something?  I don’t recall reading anything during my studies regarding using a fake name, but I guess the reservation rules didn’t apply to everyone.  Guys like Chris Berman, Ted Koppel, and Wilfred Brimley weren’t using phony names, but Andre Agassi, Roger Clemens, and Dan Quayle were.  That was it!  It was, after what I now refer to as the ‘Dan Quayle Incident’, that I decided to strike back, and start a common man version of this disturbing celebrity name game.  I would be taking the names from the rich and giving them to the poor. By poor, I was referring to me.

In 2000, I would make my first restaurant reservation using one of their names.  I called a local hot spot as Robert De Niro. I needed a private table for two at 8 PM and would appreciate not waiting.  “The Robert De Niro?” the hostess jokingly asked.  My response was a quick, “You talkin’ to me?” 
“Okay Mr. De Niro, you’re all set!” she said in an excited voice.  When I arrived, my table was ready with a complimentary order of bruschetta on it!  The disappointment on the faces of the staff didn’t stop my girlfriend and me from having a great dinner.  Sorry, but I love bruschetta!

The game was on!  I would do the opposite of everything I had ever learned about making a restaurant reservation.  I was like the Opposite George Costanza episode from Seinfeld.  “Up was down, black was white, good was bad, and day was night!” 
 

There was a little trial and error, but I found athlete’s names seemed to work best, while using mega-celebrity names like Oprah Winfrey or Angelina Jolie didn’t work at all.  I used names like Derek Jeter, Ron Jeremy, and George Clooney.  During a Las Vegas trip I called as Siegfried and Roy, and it worked like magic!  When restaurants didn’t take reservations, or were completely booked, I would pull out my secret weapon.  “That’s right; Tom Cruise and his wife were coming in for dinner.  I would always call from a pay phone or blocked cell phone number, and if I was asked for a phone number, I didn’t give one.  Remember, a celebrity of my stature would never give out their personal or hotel number.
  
The last decade of dining out has been great, but hasn’t been without incident.  Years of playing the game has taken its toll on my psyche.   I had gotten cocky, careless, and started to make amateurish mistakes.  
My arrogance had pushed me to choose names that were too close to the edge.

Last year I made a reservation as General David Petraeus while visiting Virginia.  I was a bit embarrassed when I showed up for my 9 PM to find a marching band, several media outlets, and the local color guard waiting for their national hero.  The ‘national hero’ phrase appeared on several hand-made signs that had been crafted by the children of a local school for the blind. When I arrived at the hostess desk, I pretended not to have a reservation and calmly asked, “What’s going on outside?” 

This past February, my wife Angelique made a reservation at Prime 112 in Miami, under the name Madonna.  When we arrived, Dennis Rodman, Vanilla Ice and Sandra Bernhard were waiting impatiently in the lobby for the real Madonna.  A few bad booty calls, and Madonna gets are stalked for life? It was a sad to see how desperate these once mighty celebrities had become.  When I returned home to Fort Myers, eight CD’s went right in the trash.  Oh yes, it’s true!  Vanilla Ice had eight different CD releases.   

These past mistakes have led me to proclaim the only rule of the name game is; don’t use names that cross the line.  I have since rededicated myself to the name game, and in May rebounded with a wonderful, less damaging night out.  While visiting Boston I made a late night reservation for four under Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz’s name.  I used my best Latin accent on the phone, and told the man, “You can put it under Big Papi, and a few players might be joining me.”  Needless to say, there were many disappointed fans when a white man checked in under Ortiz.  Those ‘players’ I mentioned, were three out of shape, balding forty-something high school friends, who planned to go dancing later and try to pick up twenty-something woman.  Remember; don’t try this when the Red Sox are out of town.

Now that you know what the name game is, join my fight for reservation equality.  Isn’t it about time you add a little fun to your nights out?  Be creative and use your imagination when making a reservation, and try not to laugh.  Give it a try and remember there aren’t any name police that are going to show up when you arrive at the restaurant, unless of course you are impersonating an Army General.  By the way, the charges were eventually dropped and I did get a free meal during the ten hours I spent in that military holding cell.

Have a great night out, and when you get to the host desk, tell ‘em Arnold Schwarzenegger sent you! I mean Brian!  Please leave comments and answer the poll question.  Thanks!

Brian Silveira is a restaurateur and food lover from Fort Myers, Florida.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Everyone is a Critic



Everyone is a Critic!
“If the soup had been as warm as the wine, if the wine had been as old as the turkey, if the turkey had had a breast like the maid, it would have been a swell dinner.”  Duncan Hines

These days, it seems everyone likes to criticize. Even Miami Heat forward Lebron James is being told he sucks.  I've heard it all during my years as a restaurant manager.  Comments like, the waiter was horrible, the food was atrocious, and the décor is simply deplorable.  Dining out seems to bring out the professional food critic in everyone.  Restaurant review websites like BooRah, Chowhound, TripAdvisor and Yelp offer deals, coupons, and detailed information you will not find when visiting an individual restaurants’ website.   Whether you need information on Jimmy’s Bronx Café in New York or the Old Beijing Zhajiang Noodle King in China, computer-chair critics are dishing out the good, bad and ugly.  These reviews are useful tools for consumers eager to find the perfect spot to drop some hard earned cash, but are they really?  Here are a few tips to consider when  reading or writing restaurant reviews.

When reading reviews, I place them into four distinct categories.  
1. VENGEFUL, also known as the CHRONIC.  A person you might find in the 10 items or less line with a cart full of groceries.  You’ve seen them at a restaurant, demanding to see the manager, while expecting some form of discount or a free meal.  They are looking for what is wrong with a restaurant, while sabotaging what might otherwise be a nice dining experience.    They just can't hide the hate and anger, while searching for attention.
2. SCREW YOU, also known as the UP YOURS. These are submitted by the restaurant down the street whose business is just months away from putting up a permanent we’re closed sign.  Instead of spending time making their own restaurant better, it's easier to try to bring the competition down.  In some cases, they're ex-employees who are looking to damage the reputation of their former place of employment.  If only showing up for work had been as important as slamming their ex-employer.
3. THEY MADE ME DO IT, also known as the KISS ASS.  This reviewer is submitting a surreal version of a dining experience at the request of the owner or management.  Every detail of the review is just too unbelievable.  Often this person is a one and done reviewer.  Maybe the free dessert they received makes them feel better about this shameful attempt to boost a restaurants website rating.  Often, friends or employees of the establishment are involved.  The usage of employee names, specific pricing and meticulous details in the review immediately put up a red flag for me.
4. AUTHENTIC, also known as THE TRUTH.  This review is being done without a motive, and gives owners, management and staff an unbiased look at what was observed during their dinner.  These reviewers have fun, while following the rules of writing a review on these websites.  These reviews will save you money and help you avoid making the mistake of picking a substandard restaurant.

Although category 1 reviews are often too bad to believe, even a chronic complainer occasionally will write something that might be useful.  The majority of established review websites filter out submissions that appear to lack content integrity.  I know for a fact that TripAdvisor will not post a review until it is reviewed by their staff, but there are plenty of phoney reviews that still make the cut.

These new-age computer savvy critics don’t seem to mind who they might offend.  They can be blunt, harsh and incredibly  insightful, while topics like server body odor and bathroom cleanliness are certainly not off limits.  Often times they expose what local newspaper food critics can’t or will not write about.  Newspaper critics often don’t want to offend a current or future advertiser in their publication.  

After reading thousands of reviews that punish restaurants and their staff, I’m reminded of a famous quote I heard when I was younger.   “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”  Maybe that’s why these critics are hundreds of miles away when a review is submitted?  In my opinion, the majority of reviewers are trying to help fellow consumers locate the hidden gems, while avoiding potential dining disasters.

Below is an actual review submitted on TripAdvisor for Il Tesora Italian Restaurant in Sanibel Florida.
 
“THE WORST...STAY AWAY”
1 of 5 starsReviewed June 13, 2011 - NEW 
We had eaten here last year and had a so so experience. My husband wanted to go back. The restaurant has gotten even worse. 
They are so superior and snotty. We read all the reviews. It ended up being a sketch from Saturday Night Live.
"And the Dover Sole, is that all the way from Dover, Delaware?"  "Yes, Ma’am, it is."
"And the price?"  "ahhhh. I believe it's $50."
We suppressed our laughter, and the waiter was not amused. I think he trained at the Academy of Faux Servers expected to sell the "specials" which were anything but.
Bad, bad restaurant. We had a glass of wine and then left, laughing.  Someone should do a reality show on this place.
Writing reviews is something I personally enjoy, and I’ll offer just a few suggestions before you head to the keyboard.
1. Don’t just write a review after a bad experience. There is surely some good in this world, right?
2. Write the review the following day. I call this the “cool-off period.” 
3. Be specific about whom or what prompted you to write the review, except if it’s an angry wife (you can leave that out.)
4. Don’t let the review be one-sided.  Try to include a few good things in a bad review, and a few constructive criticisms in a good review.
5.  Include the comments of the guests you dined with.  They may have perceived things differently.
6. Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  A lawyer friend once told me, “There are three sides to every story; yours, theirs, and the truth.”  Remember, embellishing a story can sometimes make it less believable, even if the information is credible.  Keep you review simple and leave the thesaurus out of it.

Now, get out there and make your 10th grade English teacher proud(thanks Mrs. Daley!).  Write reviews that are grammatically correct, while helping readers choose a restaurant that is sure to impress their dining guests.  Follow my advice, and soon you'll be wondering why you have never researched restaurants before.  You'll look like a genius when every restaurant you choose is a winner.

Remember to enjoy your dining experiences, and when you get to the host desk, tell ‘em Brian sent you!